The bird is the word. (Another word? Motherfucker.)

I got flicked off this morning.

Happy Tuesday to me, huh?

In the shadow of the football stadium, there’s a little side road that I sometimes use to do an end-run around Russell street on those days that Russell is looking particularly cloggity. There’s a stadium parking lot to one side and so, half way down the street, there’s a cross walk for fans to use while walking to or from the game.

On game day, I’d imagine there’s constant pedestrian traffic and a driver would have to stop to let the people pass.

However. There is no stop sign. There are also, at 8:20 in the morning, no pedestrians present. Anywhere in view. At all. In the absence of a stop sign and pedestrians the crosswalk goes from being a crosswalk to just lines on the pavement.

The road has two lanes, both going south. This morning, I was following a very slow truck down the little side street. We were in the left lane. I decided 10 just wasn’t my speed, so I got in to the right lane to pass the truck. I slid over and found myself behind a maroon sedan. As we approached the cross walk, the truck slowed down to stop. Why, I don’t know. Maybe he thought he had to. Maybe he was lost and was pulling over to look at a map. The maroon sedan in front of me must have figured there was a stop sign and slammed on its brakes. I had to stop too, coming a little closer to the sedan’s bumper than I would have liked.

And we sat there. I checked (I had time); there were indeed no stop signs. There were no pedestrians. We were just sitting there at a non-stop sign waiting for the imaginary football fans to pass I guess.

So I honked.

And her middle finger shot in the air.

We pulled up next to eachother at the end of the street. Me turning left, she turning right. I looked at her. “Fuck you asshole,” she said. “Not a stop sign,” I mouthed.

And then we both smiled and laughed. Got out of our cars and hugged and had a good chuckle over the whole thing.

No, not really.

She yelled “motherfucker”, flicked me off again and peeled wheels.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate getting honked at. But my brain is wired in such a way that if I get honked at, my first thoughts involve figuring out what I’m doing wrong and not finding the honker and overwhelming them with my middle finger of hate.

It wasn’t a long beep and the Civic’s horn is not what I’d call intimidating. It was, I thought, a “hey, let’s get moving again” beep.

To which, I suppose, the only rationall response is the bird. Motherfucker.

Motherfuckinghelpdesk

It’s possible I was just a little short with someone. Could have been nicer, I suppose.

But I don’t care.

I put in a ticket with our help desk because I didn’t know how to solve a problem.

When, a week later, the help desk called me back asking for my advice on how to resolve the very issue I entered, I kind of became upset. Curt. Pissy.

It’s like the mechanic calling you from the shop, “Well, what do you think is wrong with your car?” I have no idea – that’s why I dumped the problem on to you!

I think it was mostly the guy’s attitude that flipped my lid. Like I was bening unreasonable in not having my own suggestions on how they could solve my issue. Like the real problem is that I just didn’t want to cooperate.

Nuh uh.

The real problem is that you’re wasting both our time in this little recursive loop while you could be talking with, you know, the experts who know how to resolve my fucking dilemma.

I mean, really.

30

I am 30 years old.

I always sort of thought turning 30 would be a big deal. A watershed moment. Or, if not that, a least a little scary.

It’s neither of those things. It just is.

I like to think that my-non freak out has to do with the special people. No wait, that came out wrong. It has to do with the people that are special to me.

Case in point:

On Saturday evening, Emily threw me the greatest, most laid back and awesome birthday bbq-o-rama I’ve ever had. It was tremendous. The people that came were sort of a cross-section of my friends: high school  buddies, college friends, post-college-emily-and-I friends. Even a family member or two. I realized at some point that the best part of being friends with these people is that I know I could go anywhere, do anything, disappear from the planet for a while – whatever. I know they’ll all always be willing to catch up over a beer and a bratwurst and we’ll laugh eachother’s heads off.

I guess what I’m saying is that 30 doesn’t scare me because 30 isn’t changing anything. With Vermont on the horizin, I’m going to move away from my friends. But I know that my friendships aren’t going anywhere.

I like that a lot.