Category Archives: The Usual Junk

Just More of the Same

Bachelorized

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Son of a…

I waited too long to blog about my bachelor party. I’m at the point now where I can remember impressions and not actual events. Of course, that might also be because of the booze, but who’s counting.

Let’s see, what comes to mind? Well, it was tremendous – that’s the main thing. I had an awesome group of friends out with me. Pete, Zach, Jimmy, Dom, Nick, Ben, Joe, Mike S., Chad, Tom, Chris, Duff, Rich, Adam, Dave, and Erich. Phenomenal people. And phenomenally phunny people.

We had dinner at Fleming’s which, as always, was incredible. No creamed spinach this time, what with the e.coli and such, but still, one of the top 3 steaks I’ve ever had. Leaving the restaurant, I knew I was already drunk as I couldn’t remember anyone paying. The boys were quite clear that I didn’t have to, but I couldn’t remember *anyone* paying.

Then, it was a great return to one of the great college and early-20’s hangouts – Max’s on Broadway. Beer and shots and one of my goodfornothingbecausetheyshouldknowbetter friends buying me a shot of Jaeger.

Yes, I got it down.

Yes, I did immediately sprint for the bathroom and upchuck one of the top 3 steaks I’ver ever eaten. I think some were impressed when I came back out of the bathroom ready for more. I wasn’t impressed – just proud.

So I drank some more. I puked again; upstairs this time. And I came backk swinging once more.

By this point in the evening, (11? 12?) I was seeing double and everything was blurry which is how we ended up at the strip bar.

The strip bar was fun, I think. I remember laughing alot and getting handed drink after drink after drink. I did see some boobies, but could not tell you anything more than that. By this point, I was well and truly…what’s the medical term…. sloshed.

After a while we left and wandered down to the pretzel dog stand where, well, pretzel dogs were consumed.

Then it was time to go home. And by “home” I mean my cousin’s apartment. He made me drink lots of water and take a B-complex. Amazingly enough, I was a little hungover the next day, but not the oh-my-god-i-hate-everything-and-want-the-sweet-release-of-death that I was expecting.

Anyway, it was a great night. I know I will remember it (fuzzily) for ever.

Kohl’s and Rice Krispy Treats

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So, I’m off to Vegas on Friday evening. A bachelor party weekend for a good friend of mine. I’m excited, of course, I suppose. But I also feel like it would have been ok to say no. To stay home and save money.

 But I’m not the smartest, so I said yes.

And so, tonight found me in a near-empty Kohl’s; wandering the aisles to find new clothes.

I think I did ok. A few buttondowns, a pair of jeans, some new shoes. You know, good going-out threads.

And now it’s a nice quiet evening of rice krispy treats and Black Hawk Down on DVD. Not reaaly a feel-good, but a good movie all the same.

Hiya Ernie

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It’s sort of strange to look out my office window right now.

The clouds are moving the wrong way.

It’s funny how something like ‘general directional heading of clouds’ gets stuck in the back of your head and you don’t even know that it’s something that makes up your perception of place until, well, you come in to work one morning and look out the window and spend a minute or two trying to determine why the grand vista of Route 100 looks different.

And then you realize that it’s because you’re used to the clouds coming straight out of the west, or maybe from the south, or somewhere in between. Today? East-Northeast.

Ernesto. Most people say it er-NES-to. I think it’s funnier to say ernest-o.

Anyway, Ernie, thanks for shaking things up.

I think that’s why I like storms so much. I don’t like the loss of life, I don’t like injury and I don’t like seeing dreams crushed. But, I must confess, I do like the rest. All of it: inclement weather, weather reports, school delays, road closures, dampness, wind, chaos.

It reminds us that we are not in control.

We are, I think, a society that is comfortable with the illusion that we call the shots. That we know it all, and if there are still one or two question marks, they’re only there because we haven’t taken the time to erase them yet. We like to think that if we throw enough money or elbow grease at a problem, we can make it go away.

And then nature throws 42 inches of snow at us and grinds us to a halt. And then nature whips us with a tropical weather system and sends us all to the store to buy milk, bread, and battery powered radios.

I like storms because they’re humbling. They remind us that we are, in a way, insignificant.

Sometimes that can be a healthy reality check.