Two years ago today, I started grad school. I must have known on some conceptual level that my life had changed rather dramatically, changed forever, but the full understanding of what that meant had yet to set in.

Grad school changed the course of my professional life, gave my personal life a more solid foundation, and taught me that it’s never too late to go after what you want. At times it was stressful and scary. The student loan bills are a reminder that it was wildly expensive. But I don’t regret it for a minute.

I’m standing on the precipice of another great change. This time, I have a better understanding of how different my life will be. I don’t know the specifics, but the Me of now and the Me of later will be living in very different situations. The new job will be a great opportunity for us and Chicago, well, lets just say I don’t think we’ll get bored there.

I do have apprehensions. The Grand Plan of a self-owned home not connected to another dwelling (as well as – the dream of dreams – outbuildings and a little bit of land to stretch out on) seems further away than ever. I also feel self-doubt, born of my own delightful insecurities, that my new employers will be disappointed in my education and skills.

But still.

I have faith. I have faith that this move. this new beginning, is the lever on which the rest of my life will pivot. Not grad school. I don’t know why, but I feel like grad school got me here, but this is the moment from which everything else will progress. I have visions/daydreams/fantasies of telling my grandkids about my life and together drawing the conclusion that the move to Chicago is really where my story gets good.

Change is here. Nothing left to do but toss off a prayer to whatever higher power is listening, and leap.

Feet first.

A new day is dawning, new beginnings all around.

A new city, new focus, new life. Lots will change, but the important stuff will remain the same.

I intend to use this place, again, as i should have been using it all along. A venue for venting, for reflection, for goofing off.

It’s morning in the nerd hut. Time to get moving.

A heartfelt thanks to both Kate and Jenn who offered words of support after my admittedly-pathetic last post. I ended up sending an email to my two main professors from the grad program. One of them agreed to go through his mental rolodex for any jobs I am interested in and see if he has any contacts there. If so, he said he’d be happy to write a letter/make a phonecall of introduction, so that’s nice at least.

Today I applied for a job shipping packages for a local chocolate company, applied for a job as a senior analyst for an energy efficiency nonprofit, and showed up for my first temp agency posting. Such is mi vida loca these days.

The temp agency thing is a three day thing staffing the check-in table at a local business expo. It’s more of a business-to-business type thing, but they said they’ll let us walk around the exhibitors hall for a while if we want, so I’m bringing some resumes just in case. Also a guy I’ve been connected with that might throw some consulting work my way will be there, so I’ll get to introduce myself to him too.

But really. I need structure. I need at least a few definitives in my professional life. I’d like that to start soonish rather than laterish.

All is not hopeless, last post notwithstanding. I just really want stuff to start happening soon.