I am not necessarily the smartest man that ever lived.

A few weeks ago, Emily got her windshield replaced. The repairman initially glued the wrong-sized rearview mirror attachment clip on to the windshield. Being the diligent, finish-what-you-started type employee he was, the repairman didn’t remove the incorrect piece, he just glued the correct piece on top of the wrong one. Translation: on the 1st really hot day after the windshield replacement, the glue holding the rearview mirror on to the wrong-sized clip failed and the mirror fell off.

The wrong-sized clip remained. Remained attached to the windshield with a titanic amount of…umm..grip. It would have taken god-like strength to get that sucker off. A bionic-armed Jesus wouldn’t have been able to do it.

It was bugging me. The wrong-sized clip needed to come off so that I could reglue the right-sized one so that I could reattach Emily’s rearview mirror so that she could see all the horrible drivers behind her rushing up on her at inappropriate and highly alarming speeds.

So, I consulted my friend the internet and learned how to do what a bionic-armed Jesus couldn’t. I needed nail polish remover. (and thus I needed a lunchtime trip to Walmart which almost made my head explode because, ohmygod, some of the people at that place. but whatever.)

Anywho, over the course of three days I applied more and more nail polish remover, slowly letting it do the job of dissolving the glue and freeing the clip. I figured I would wiggle the clip after each attempt and I’d be able to feel a little ‘give’ when I was getting close.

Then I got impatient.

Then I got a wrench. See where this is going?

The good news is that the wrong-sized clip popped right off. The bad news is that so did about 2 or 3 square inches of windshield.

Luckily, Emily is a wonderful person and realizes that I was only trying to help. That I may have made a mistake, but that my motivations come completely from a place of love and a sincere desire to make her life easier.

Oh, and also that I will schedule, handle, and pay for all necessary repairs.

So, yeah, impatience and stupidity 1; Mike 0.

The windshield glass repairman comes tomorrow afternoon.

I think I’ll leave out the part about the wrench.