I’ve been thinking a lot about stress lately and trying to decide if the solution to stress comes from managing external factors or in finding some internal way to come to terms with it.

Take my job, for example.

I like my job. I work with great people, in a set of beautiful buildings, for an organization whose mission I respect. But. There’s stress. We’re in the middle of a huge project that involves lots of work, time pressure, interaction with related and unrelated organizations with indifferent or unrelated agendas.  The work piles up, deadlines slip, focus is lost, found, and lost again.

There’s much I like about my job. There’s much that is ridiculous and causes me stress. How do I reconcile the two? Do I approach each interpersonal encounter with a firm but pleasant demeanor? Do I organize and to-do-list the hell out of myself? Will that get me there?

Or is that only part of the answer? Is there a different answer? Do I try to go all zen (note: I have no idea if I’m using the term appropriately) and and realize that the best I can do, all I can do, is to give each day my best effort, to give all of myself, and that all other factors are out of my control.? On the top of my monitor I’ve taped a quote that was painted above the Hull House stage, back when Hull House had a theater. It says, “Act well your part.  There all the honor lies.”

I guess – and I reserve the right to change my mind – that it’s a little of the first and all of the second. The way we carry ourselves, the way we interact with the world, goes a long way toward the way the world treats us. But at the same time, that’s just about all we can do. We have to realize that once we’ve given our best effort, given our all, there’s nothing left to do except site back and let things play out as they will.

Sit back. And relax.

This has been a trying day. Today was the culminations of red tape and delay, all for a task that should have taken no time at all.

Today the system punched me around. Today I understood how the soul-less, brain-less bureaucrat can become that way. I can become that way.

I understand more now about institutionalized inefficiency, apathy, and insider dealing.

If this is how the world works, it’s no wonder our governments have no money.

Happy New Year.

I hope this will be a good year for the nerd hut, with a renewed focus. But, if my track record is any indication, it won’t be. I’ll try though. I promise.

And now, on to the bitching.

One of the most frustrating parts of my job lies in the interaction with the larger university community outside the walls of the museum. There are good people and hard workers out there, but for the most part I feel like many of them are doing their damndest to do as little as possible. It’s a sea of mediocrity and cover-your-ass. It drives me crazy. It’s institutionalized too. Back in my old life in corporate america, escalation was part of the culture. If you didn’t feel you were receiving acceptable customer service, it was your responsibility to run it up the ladder to the next higher person. Say what you will, but it kept you on your toes. Kept things moving along too.

That’s not so much the case here. I’ve tried it a few times and been swatted down each time. “Sorry, nothing can be done” or “that’s just the process we all have to live with”.

With a few exceptions, I feel like no one takes the initiative and everyone tends to shy away from responsibility.

Makes. Me. Crazy.