Last night’s series finale of LOST has me thinking about death and what comes after. Is there an afterlife? Does what we do in life matter? Do the connections we make with loved ones resonate after we are gone? (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. Abandon hope all ye who enter here. You have been warned.)

I don’t have the answers. I don’t have a ton of patience for those who tell me they do have the answers. How can they know? Faith? There’s a thin line between faith and self serving self delusion. That said, there’s an equally thin line between objectivity and nihilism. I don’t know if I’ll let myself believe. But I desperately want to.

In LOST, the “flash-sideways” we’ve been seeing all season (as opposed to previous seasons’ flash-backs and flash-forwards) have not been to an alternate reality, but instead to a metaphysical limbo, some kind of staging ground between this life and the next. The characters in it don’t know – not at first – that they’re no longer living. It isn’t until each of them has a transcendent moment that they reconnect with the memories and emotional baggage of their prior lives that they find peace and become ready to move on to the next stage of afterlife; presumably heaven, Valhalla, sto-vo-kor, etc.

I like the message this says. No one is alone. We are all members of a community, a family. In life and in the afterlife, it is only with the help of others that we can move forward. In sideways-limbo-world, most of the characters had a pretty decent life. But they also felt like something was missing. They were unfullfilled, untethered, un-ruddered. Until they made the connections with people from their “real” life and found fulfillment and peace.

We all feel this disconnection on some level. I know I do. I have a good life: good job, great wife, family that loves me, wonderful friends. But – like everyone – I feel like something’s missing. Some people fill that hole with faith. Faith in a deity, in organized religion, in the universe. If that’s you, well, we’re on different pages. I don’t judge, and frankly I admire people of faith. But I’m not there yet. I was once and may be again, but life events of the last decade tell me that if there is a God, if there is a higher power, they are utterly unknowable and un-understandable at best. For me, faith is on hold until I can construct a world view where a compassionate deity and senseless suffering are not mutually exclusive.

But last night showed me that the missing piece in all of us can be filled. Not only with faith but also with those we are connected to. It’s on us to make those connections, to nurture them, and to let them guide us through life. And maybe, just maybe, those connections resonate in the great beyond. Maybe part of ourselves stays connected to parts of ourothers and the bonds we’ve made in this life, to borrow a phrase, echo in eternity.

And that’s the answer. To feel fullfilled, tethered, ruddered? Find someone to love. Let them provide fullfillment. Tether yourself to them. Let them become your rudder. If you lack faith? Don’t worry. Hang on to your loved ones, and they will see you home.

I know it was just a TV show. But it gave me hope.