The unwinnable battle…

I’m actually a little ashamed of myself right now.

Just got into a bit of a… umm… contentious phone conversation. Someone was trying to convey some information to me, was doing it with what I perceived as a robust amount of attitude, and was not at all pleased when my hackles went up and asserted that I didn’t appreciate the ‘tude. She accused me of fabricating her adversarial nature (which I really don’t think I did) and implied that her department would stop fulfilling their role in the matter being discussed (which would be simply unacceptable).

And while I do think that technically I was in the right, I’m angry and ashamed at myself because this is just another example of me fighting a battle that I didn’t need to fight. Could have ignored her passive-or-not-so-much aggressivity and been the bigger man.

Instead, I ignored the better angels of my nature and got down in the dirt and the mud. Makes me feel low. Common. Like a dick.

Why do I need to be so confrontational all the time? Why am I always on the lookout for any perceived slight, no matter how small? Why can’t I be more relaxed, more level headed?

Why am I so ready to fight the world?

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