What follows is a short, but angry, missive. Eject now if you don’t want to be poisoned by my bile.

Attention Citizens of Baltimore!!!

Streets, especially major thoroughfares, are for one purpose and one purpose only.

Driving.

The are not for walking. There is a perfectly functional sidewalk 10 feet to your right. And don’t even look at me like I’m somehow the asshole for expecting you to move out of the way.

Also, driving on streets implies motion. The only times you should not be moving involve red lights, school buses, and emergency vehicles. You are not allowed to stop to chat with an acquaintance. You can, obviously, find a space, pull over, and then talk. But please – for the love of sweet holy Christ – don’t bring all the traffic behind you to a complete stop so you can exchange hey-how-ya-doin’s. And if you do and you get beeped at, you are not allowed to get pissed as if you are not inconveniencing half a dozen strangers on a major street. At rush hour.

Really, I think the wider problem is people’s selfishness combined with their willful ignorance.

What a combo.

Happy Friday, everyone.